A Family Living the Artistic Life
By Amy Osterholm
Alameda Sun

Many artists who make a living through their art must struggle to find a balance between
their own creative voices and the demands of the commercial world. Many married people work hard
to maintain their individuality in the context of their life as a couple. Many, many parents feel the
conflict between getting ahead at work and spending time with kids. Imagine trying to blend all three.

That's what Alameda artists Mark and Laurie Wagner do, every day: make their living as artists while
trying to be the best partners and parents they can be. "We're in the business of creating things to sell,"
said Laurie, a writer and writing teacher. "And of feeding souls," added Mark, a conceptual artist,
graphic designer and teacher.

Mark and Laurie Wagner both make their living as freelance artists -- they don't have jobs in
the conventional sense. They don't get up and shave or put on nylons and go to the office.
Although it sounds like a dream to many, the uncertainty about the future can be stressful.
"We miss some of the security, like regular paychecks and health insurance. I'm almost over
having to look on craigslist.com every day for a job," said Laurie. "I'm trying to embody faith
that it will work out, that the next thing will come."

So far, the next thing has always come. Mark Wagner has done the conceptual art for films
such as "Terminator 3" and is the lead concept artist on the TV movie "Dreamkeeper," which will air
on ABC in December. For that project, he created 11 weeks of art, characters, costumes and creatures.
He has also done illustration and design on video games. He is the "free spirit" of the pair,
said Laurie Wagner. "He's comfortable with little money. He has a deep inner life, with his hand
in another world of nature, myth and magic."

Laurie is the practical one, the self-described worrier of the pair. While working at bookstores
and publishing houses, she dreamed of going freelance, and watching Mark gave her the confidence
to break out. She writes to seek meaning in her life, so she has published Living Happily Ever After:
Couples Talk about Lasting Love and Expectations: 30 Women Talk About Being a Mother.
She teaches writing on writers.com and through her own "Wild Writing" classes
for women at her home in Alameda.

"Teaching is very rich for me because I can help women who are searching for their essential,
creative voices. It gives women the opportunity to explore their dormant, creative side, and leave
feeling more aligned with who they are deeply," she said.

At the same time, they are the parents of Ruby, 8, and Zoe, 5, two budding artists and writers.
In some ways, Mark and Laurie's work enhances their parenting. They are both available to their
daughters, and spend much more time with them than most couples manage. On the other had,
they have to schedule their work and parenting time carefully.

"We have to work around each other's deadlines," said Mark. "We have to trade off.
"Being an artist is a great complement to parenting," he went on. "The schedule can be more
accommodating than a regular job. I can have the kids with me in the studio. They have their
own journals with their own art. We tend to have a lot of creative adventures together. They learn
about art and creativity first hand."

"I'm always working with them on stories," added Laurie. "I want them to be able to tell the story
that's in their heart and be true to it."
They admit that they have had to make many of the same compromises that plague parents with
more conventional work. Laurie said, "We want them to learn to entertain themselves, but when
we both have deadlines, they may have watched a little too much TV. And we've both had to
surrender what we think we're capable of. My career can't move as fast as if I were working on
it full time. I can't sustain deep ideas for 24 hours because it will be my turn to be with the kids."

Both Mark and Laurie Wagner agree that working on the marriage takes a high priority for them.
"It's the foundation this whole house and family rests on," Laurie said. "If we're unhappy or
unharmonious, the whole structure suffers." They each see being true to themselves as an
important key to remaining true to each other.

"I'm learning to take responsibility for getting my own needs met," said Mark. "We don't look to
the other to complete ourselves," added Laurie. "We give each other huge freedom to be ourselves."

She recently got her own office, away from the house, to be able to work away from phones,
e-mail and kids. "It was a really big step for me," she said. "I didn't feel I deserved my own space.
I'm a bit of a loner and I need a lot of silence and I can find it there. Mark really supported me in that."

At the same time, they are completely committed to their marriage and their family life. "We are teachers
for each other. We appreciate the way we complement each other. We love couples therapy," said Mark.
He went on to describe Laurie as "a living model of honesty, loyalty and being present in the world
and with people."

Laurie said Mark "follows his heart. He listens for things I can't see. He doesn't feel alone in the universe.
"I'm trying to learn the practice of faith," she said. "The practice of not panicking, of believing that
everything is fine, that nothing will destroy us. It's a (challenge) to take that leap of faith."
It's a leap that Mark and Laurie Wagner take every day.

To learn more about Laurie and her work, visit www.word-wrangler.com
Mark's art can be seen at www.heartsandbones.com